BDSM Abuse Survivors’ Network
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* BDSM vs Abuse
- Abuse Among the Kinky, part 1: 6 Ways to Think About Abuse
- Abuse Among the Kinky, Part 2: 10 Things to Do to Reduce Abusive Behaviour In the S/m World*
- Abuse Articles
- Abuse vs Consensual BDSM (Fetish Information Exchange)
- Abuse vs Consensual BDSM/Erotic Power Exchange
- Am I Being Abused? – various questions to ask yourself and major red flags
- ‘Morning After’ Regret – Fourth in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- BDSM vs Abuse
- BDSM vs Abuse by SirBamm!
- Defining It – First In a Series On Predatory Behavior
- Domestic Violence in the S/M Community (Pandora's Project)
- How to Avoid Problem People (expanded and edited)
- How to Avoid Problem People (original with discussion)
- How to Spot an Abuser
- Is It Abuse?
- Is It SM or Abuse?
- Kink Abuse
- Leather Leadership Conference SM vs Abuse Policy Statement
- Lesbian Sex Mafia – The Difference Between SM and Abuse
- Meet the Predators – from the Yes Means Yes blog (about rape)
- National Leather Association Domestic Violence Project (NLAIDV Project)
- Personal Responsibility – Third in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- Reactions to Abuse
- Sociopaths in the Scene
- The Differences Between BDSM and Abuse
- The War Against False Entitlement – Second in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- Unhealthy Control – Warning Signs of the Non Dominant
- What do they look like? – Fifth in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- What Is Partner Abuse? – from The Network/La Red
- WomensLaw.org
Abuse - General
- ! Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships (HelpGuide.org)
- AARDVARC.org – An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection
- Abuse and Recovery Resources
- Abuse Articles
- Abuse Signs and Look Out For Men Who…
- Abuse Types
- Abused or Codependant?
- Abusive Cycle – for abusers and victims
- Abusive Relationships – 23 Warning Signs
- ACADV Links to Other Internet Resources
- Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (various papers)
- Am I Being Abused? – various questions to ask yourself and major red flags
- Animal Abuse and Youth Violence
- Are You Dating a Loser? Identifying Losers, Controllers and Abusers in Relationships
- Are You Emotionally Abused?
- Articles About Abuse and Control
- Avoiding the Emotional Blackmailer
- Barriers To Leaving
- Blooming Lotus – Journey to Recovery From Childhood Abuse
- Bullying
- Characteristics of a Misogynist
- Definitions of Sexual Assault and Rape (nonlegal as well as legal)
- Emotional Abuse and Characteristics of Emotional Abusers
- Emotional Abusers
- Emotional Blackmailers: Jerks who Fuck with Your Mind – and Your Compassion
- Female Sex Offenders – Survivors' Safehouse
- Feministing
- Frequently Asked Questions About Verbal Abuse
- Gift From Within
- Health Effects of Family Violence
- How to Avoid Problem People (expanded and edited)
- How to Spot an Abuser
- How to Tell if They Are Not Changing Their Abusive Behavior
- Intimate Partner Abuse Against Men
- Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser
- Meet the Predators – from the Yes Means Yes blog (about rape)
- Myths About Domestic Violence
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- Parent Abuse by Teenage Children
- Parent Abuse by Teenage Children (overview)
- Pets As Pawns In Domestic Violence
- Purple Hearts 4 Butterflies
- RAINN – Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
- Reactions to Abuse
- Relationship Red Flags
- Signs of Verbal and Emotional Abuse
- Signs That He Has Changed
- Signs That He Has Not Changed
- Spousal Abuse Facts
- The Abuse of Animals and Domestic Violence
- The Both/And of the Porn Wars
- The Cycle of Abuse
- The Manipulator Files
- The RED FLAG List – Warning signs that He (or She) is BAD NEWS…
- Understanding Abuse and Control
- Understanding the Victims of Spousal Abuse
- Various articles on abuse, dating, infidelity, and relationships
- Warning Signs of an Abuser (Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service)
- Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality
- What are the red flags in a relationship a professional looks for?
- What Is Partner Abuse? – from The Network/La Red
- When Mr. Right Turns Out to Be Mr. Wrong (Romeo's Bleeding)
- Why Abusers Batter & Characteristics of Batterers
- WomensLaw.org
- You Think That You Are So Special… . . . that it won't happen to you. He'll be different with you.
Abuse - Getting Help & Staying Safe
- AARDVARC.org – An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection
- Barriers To Leaving
- BDSM vs Abuse by SirBamm!
- Domestic Violence Resources – all of US & some international
- Female Sex Offenders – Survivors' Safehouse
- How Can I Help My Friend?
- How to Help a Survivor
- How to Help An Assaulted Woman
- http://Computer&InternetSafety
- Internet and Email Safety – Covering Your Tracks
- Kink Aware Professionals
- Making a Safety Plan
- Manalive (and Womanalive)
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- National Safecall Network
- Plan For Your Safety
- Victim Bashing
- WomensLaw.org
Abuse and the Law
Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence
BDSM - General
BDSM and the Law
BDSM Basics
Bestiality - Animal Sexual Abuse and Forced Bestiality
- Aftereffects of Animal Rape
- Animal Abuse and Youth Violence
- Animal Rape Links
- Animal Sexual Abuse Fact Sheet
- Bestiality aka Zoophilia
- Bestiality Statistics
- Blooming Lotus – Journey to Recovery From Childhood Abuse
- Diseases From Sex With Animals
- For survivors whose sexual abuse involved forced sexual contact with animals (Pandora's Project)
- Lecture addresses nature of bestiality: Criminology professor explains definition, criminality of bestiality
- Sexual Abuse of Animals Is Animal Cruelty
- StopBestiality
- The Abuse of Animals and Domestic Violence
- The International Handbook of Animal Abuse and Cruelty: Theory, Research, and Application
Blogroll
- BDSM Bad Advice
- Beyond the Hills
- Charlie Glickman – Adult Sexuality Education
- Devastating Yet Inconsequential
- Domestic Servitude
- Dreamwalker
- Freaksexual
- Gentle Spirit
- Kink In Motion
- Kink On Tap
- Libida
- Sadistic Excess
- Sayninee
- Sex Geek
- Sexual Intelligence
- SF Girls of Leather
- The Eroticist
- The Iron Gate
- The Mistress Manual
- The Perverted Negress
- Under His Hand
- Walking the Labyrinth
- Zille de Feu's Fetish Fantasies
Children and Teens
- Abuse and Recovery Resources
- Abuse Articles
- Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (various papers)
- Animal Abuse and Youth Violence
- Blooming Lotus – Journey to Recovery From Childhood Abuse
- Child Abuse & Neglect (various papers)
- Child Sexual Abuse (variety of articles)
- Dating Violence
- Effects of Domestic Violence On Children
- Health Effects of Family Violence
- Parent Abuse by Teenage Children
- Parent Abuse by Teenage Children (overview)
Control Freaks and Difficult People
Dominance
Elder Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Ethnic, Religious, and Cultural Resources
GLBT
Men
Narcissism
Organizations
Organizations - BDSM
Porn and Abuse/Aggression
Predators
- ‘Morning After’ Regret – Fourth in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- Defining It – First In a Series On Predatory Behavior
- Personal Responsibility – Third in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- The War Against False Entitlement – Second in a Series on Predatory Behavior
- What do they look like? – Fifth in a Series on Predatory Behavior
PTSD
Rape
Rape and Sexual Assault/Abuse
Recovering From Abuse
Red Flags
Ritual Abuse
Sex
Sexual Addiction
Sexuality
Submission
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Pages
Monthly Archives: December 2009
Tantrums, Dominants, and BDSM
I’ve been reading in a few places lately about people throwing tantrums, in both the vanilla world and in BDSM. In an excellent post on the subject, entitled “That’s Life (Vanilla and BDSM Tantrums)“, Ooooohhhhyesss concludes that “Tantrums are tantrums … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse and BDSM, Dominance, Submission
Tagged abuse, Abuse and BDSM, abuser, abusive, anger, BDSM, BDSM and abuse, control, control freak, D/s, Dominance, dominant, domineering, self control, strop, Submission, submissive, tantrum, tirade, trust, WIITWD
2 Comments
How a Submissive's Behavior Reflects on Her Dominant – and What He Can Do About It
Hecate wrote an absolutely marvelous and thoughtful post on the subject of how a submissive’s behavior reflects on her dominant over on Alt, entitled “The Reflection“. It is a particularly well-balanced treatment of the subject, looking not just at the … Continue reading
Posted in Dominance, Submission
Tagged bad behavior, BDSM, dominant, kink compatibility, submissive
3 Comments
Sub Frenzy
This is without a doubt the best article on sub frenzy I’ve ever come across. Doms should be aware of this tendency, particularly in newbie subs, and follow the recommendations below in order to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. ======================================== … Continue reading
Posted in Submission
Tagged BDSM, D/s, dom, dominant, good dom, good dominant, honorific, newbie dom, newbie sub, sub frenzy, Submission, submissive, title
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How I Would Explain My Role
First of all, I don’t fit in any neat little boxes. There’s no one word that describes how I identify, what my role is. I generally say “submissive” because that’s probably the closest of the options usually offered, but I … Continue reading
Posted in Bottoming, consensuality, masochism, Personal, Submission
Tagged 24/7, bondage, bottom, consensual, consensuality, control, D/s, daddy, daddy dom, dominant, fantasy vs reality, gentleman, gentleman dom, headspace, kink, kinky, M/s, Master Skip, Master Skip Chasey, master/slave, reality vs fantasy, sadism, sadist, service, sexually submissive, Skip Chasey, slave BDSM, submissive, subspace, trust
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What Does a Collar Mean?
To me, a collar has virtually the same significance as a wedding ring, absent only the legal status. When I accept one (other than in a situation in which it is clearly only being used as a toy for … Continue reading
Posted in Dominance, Submission
Tagged BDSM, BDSM scene, collar, dominant, every day collar, everyday collar, full time collar, kink, kinky, leather, lifetime commitment, owned, ownership, permanent collar, play collar, submissive
1 Comment
Alternative Sexual Practices – Kent State article response
first posted 9/17/06 @ 5:34 PM EST; updated 12/17/09 =============================== In response to the 9/14/06 article in the Kent State “Stater Online” entitled “Alternative sexual practices abound among college students“, I would like to offer these remarks. While it is … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse and BDSM, agreements, consensuality, Dominance, masochism, sadism, Submission
Tagged abuse, Abuse and BDSM, aftercare, agreements, alternative sexual lifestyle, alternative sexual practices, alternative sexuality, BDSM, bondage, bottom, college, college students, consensual, consensuality, D/s, discipline, Dominance, dominant, dominatrix, domme, DSM, DSM-IV, erotic pain, HIV, Kent State, kink, kinky, Laurie Wagner, masochism, mental illness, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, NCSF, negotiation, nonconsensual, pain, psychological aspects of BDSM, RACK, rape, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, S&M, sadism, sadomasochism, sadomasochist, Safe Sane and Consensual, safe word, safeword, sensation, sensation play, serial killer, sexual sadism, SSC, STD, student, Submission, submissive, Susan Wright, top, torture, vanilla, violating limits, violation of limits
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Abuse and Control
My response from Fetlife to a thread on this topic: What do you do when your slave consents to punishment and control, then uses it against you by revealing details of your lifestyle to friends or family who say it … Continue reading
Assignments and Headspace Problems
Response to a query about how to maintain a sub’s headspace with assignments when not living together: ===================================================== It’s hard to maintain any kind of an actual headspace on an ongoing, day to day basis, particularly when you are not … Continue reading
Posted in Dominance
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