Monthly Archives: February 2010

Protected: Breaking the Rules


There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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Does the BDSM Community Enable Abuse?


In a post entitled Evidence that the BDSM community does not enable abuse, Clarisse Thorn posits that the existence of several different initiatives outlining the differences between BDSM and abuse indicates that we do not enable abuse. While many such … Continue reading

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Protected: Forgiveness


There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

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A Slave is Not A Submissive


By Deborah Teramis Christian A submissive explores the piquant terrain of the surrendering of power. It is not surprising that folks engaged in D/s often spend a fair amount of energy determining what are the appropriate bounds of submission and … Continue reading

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When Dominance Crosses the Line to Just Plain Abuse


How do you tell the difference between BDSM and abuse?  The line can admittedly be rather narrow and grey sometimes, especially when you get into the area of consensual nonconsent, but there are some real differences. While there are many … Continue reading

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Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser


Someone on Fetlife posted a link to an article entitled “Warning Signs That You’re Dating a Loser”, which is a great primer on abusive relationships.  The name is unfortunate, but t’s an excellent overview of the problem of abusive partners, … Continue reading

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Trust, Safety, and Surrender


From Deborah Teramis Christian: “Trust, safety and surrender are a triad that, in combination, can unlock the doors to deep submission and connectedness between D/s partners. Creating that environment takes some work, though. Here is an online talk I gave … Continue reading

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Can’t Get Rid of It…


Why can’t I get rid of this lust? This need?  This craving? Despite abusive relationships and swearing I’ll never go near D/s or anything like it again on more than one occasion, I am still continually drawn back to… whatever … Continue reading

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