Category Archives: red flags

Trust Me…


Of course you can trust me. I’m a skilled top. I mean, you saw me swinging a whip around some and it looked good, didn’t it? You can surely tell I’ve been practicing for a long time, and that I … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, red flags | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

What To Do About a Dangerous Top? What If They Are a Community Leader?


Recently I bottomed to a well-known, fairly high-profile member of the Bay Area’s leather community, and I was very upset to find that in real play this person did not live up to the high standards of safety and consensuality … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, Bottoming, How to spot an abuser, red flags | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Protected: Everybody Loves Him


There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Posted in Abuse - General, Abuse and BDSM, How to spot an abuser, Narcissism, red flags

Protected: Further Revelations – and Freedom In Sight


There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Posted in Abuse - General, consensuality, Personal, red flags

Protected: It’s Hard…


There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Posted in Abuse - General, monogamy, red flags

Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser


Someone on Fetlife posted a link to an article entitled “Warning Signs That You’re Dating a Loser”, which is a great primer on abusive relationships.  The name is unfortunate, but t’s an excellent overview of the problem of abusive partners, … Continue reading

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Dominants Coming Through on Their Word


@Xinergy said on Fetlife: The Dominant failing to come through with what they say they are going to do is devastating to the submissive. The submissive is in this lifestyle because they need that comfort and safety. They need to … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, agreements, Dominance, Rants, red flags, Submission | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Broken Promises and Agreements


What do you do if a dominant breaks a promise? Do you accept an apology, forget about it and go on? Watch to see if it becomes a consistent pattern? Does it matter to you whether the promise was made … Continue reading

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