Category Archives: agreements

It’s Got to Stop! No Matter the Price


The epidemic of domestic violence and sexual assault has got to stop – and the taboos that drive victims underground and silence them have simply got to be broken, no matter the cost that some of us will pay to … Continue reading

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Tolerating Criminal Behavior in the Scene, and Judging Others


Several things have happened over the years that have had me really starting to look at what happens in our circles when clearly and unambiguously illegal behavior comes to light. My first encounter with this sort of thing was finding … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, agreements, Bestiality - Animal Sexual Abuse and Forced Bestiality, Cheating, Consent, Legal Definitions, Negotiation, Rape & Sexual Assault | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How You Can Help Combat the Abuse Problem


A newbie I met the other day told a tale of being abused or having her limits violated when playing with someone she said is well known at the Citadel, our local community playspace.  She said she’d like to get … Continue reading

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I Will Not Apologize


Stolen from multiple people on Fetlife: ========================================= I will not apologize for setting my own personal boundaries. I will not apologize for doing whatever it takes to enforce those boundaries. I will not apologize for doing whatever it takes to … Continue reading

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Honesty and Lying in Relationships


What are your expectations from a partner regarding honesty vs lying?  Do you think that lying is ever OK? ================================================ I personally  expect full openness and honesty – and I give it in return.  Unfortunately, I once had the experience … Continue reading

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Sadism For the Sake of Sadism – or What is Pure Sadism?


I consider a pure sadist, in the BDSM context, to be someone who gets off in some way from hurting others, regardless of whether or not that person likes it, and even prefers it when they don’t – or at … Continue reading

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Criteria For a Play Partner


When I think of the phrase “play partner” per se, that to me automatically implies something casual, not a relationship per se. For a casual play partner, I don’t have really set criteria, except that I must like them (usually … Continue reading

Posted in agreements, Bottoming, Dominance, masochism, monogamy, sadism, Submission | 2 Comments

Dominants Coming Through on Their Word


@Xinergy said on Fetlife: The Dominant failing to come through with what they say they are going to do is devastating to the submissive. The submissive is in this lifestyle because they need that comfort and safety. They need to … Continue reading

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Alternative Sexual Practices – Kent State article response


first posted 9/17/06 @ 5:34 PM EST; updated 12/17/09 =============================== In response to the 9/14/06 article in the Kent State “Stater Online” entitled “Alternative sexual practices abound among college students“, I would like to offer these remarks. While it is … Continue reading

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Broken Promises and Agreements


What do you do if a dominant breaks a promise? Do you accept an apology, forget about it and go on? Watch to see if it becomes a consistent pattern? Does it matter to you whether the promise was made … Continue reading

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