Tag Archives: abuser

Trust Me…


Of course you can trust me. I’m a skilled top. I mean, you saw me swinging a whip around some and it looked good, didn’t it? You can surely tell I’ve been practicing for a long time, and that I … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, red flags | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships


In a thread entitled “[I]s this abuse?” in the “Submissive Women” group on Fetlife, subbiegirl9 describes a situation in which a male dominant friend of hers is trying to turn a basically vanilla woman into a slave, and is going … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse - General, Abuse and BDSM | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Awareness of BDSM Related Abuse Is Growing


Awareness of abuse in the kink community is growing, and I could not be more grateful. Sadly, my friend Mollena Williams, who recently stepped down from her post as International Ms Leather 2010, was raped and only recently spoke up … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, BDSM - General | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Narcissistic Prince… Is He?


by Ann Bradley,  http://www.narcissisticabuse.com How To Tell If the Prince is A Fraud It was all so perfect. He was Prince Charming, and you were the luckiest girl on earth. Until you weren’t. There were clues. Sometimes your intuition is … Continue reading

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What To Do About a Dangerous Top? What If They Are a Community Leader?


Recently I bottomed to a well-known, fairly high-profile member of the Bay Area’s leather community, and I was very upset to find that in real play this person did not live up to the high standards of safety and consensuality … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, Bottoming, How to spot an abuser, red flags | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Protected: Hypocrisy and Abuse


There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Posted in Abuse - General, Abuse - Getting Help & Staying Safe, Abuse and BDSM | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Does the BDSM Community Enable Abuse?


In a post entitled Evidence that the BDSM community does not enable abuse, Clarisse Thorn posits that the existence of several different initiatives outlining the differences between BDSM and abuse indicates that we do not enable abuse. While many such … Continue reading

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When Dominance Crosses the Line to Just Plain Abuse


How do you tell the difference between BDSM and abuse?  The line can admittedly be rather narrow and grey sometimes, especially when you get into the area of consensual nonconsent, but there are some real differences. While there are many … Continue reading

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Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser


Someone on Fetlife posted a link to an article entitled “Warning Signs That You’re Dating a Loser”, which is a great primer on abusive relationships.  The name is unfortunate, but t’s an excellent overview of the problem of abusive partners, … Continue reading

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Tantrums, Dominants, and BDSM


I’ve been reading in a few places lately about people throwing tantrums, in both the vanilla world and in BDSM. In an excellent post on the subject, entitled “That’s Life (Vanilla and BDSM Tantrums)“, Ooooohhhhyesss concludes that “Tantrums are tantrums … Continue reading

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