Tag Archives: BDSM

I Hurt…


Yes, I hurt.  I still hurt. I’m not talking here about the emotional pain and damage that lingers, although that is certainly still there, but about the physical. Yes, lingering physical pain.  From what he did to me.  Pain that … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

No Arrest, It Didn’t Happen? What If “Everybody Loves Him”? Abuse and Pillars of the Community


Believe it or not, there are people out there who actually believe that if no arrests are made, and no one goes to jail, that that means that no abuse could possibly have occurred, no matter what any of the … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse - General | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

They’ll Let Anyone In


It was only a matter of time, I suppose, before a known, self-admitted animal fucker (who crowed about this proclivity in a very public post in a very sexually-related location) made it onto a particular local party list – and … Continue reading

Posted in Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Empathy and Trust


[W]hat good is it to be in a relationship with someone who can’t tell the difference between being really mean, and being REALLY mean. How could I trust someone like that? How good is play as a submissive if you … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, BDSM - General | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Controlling Men Could Face Criminal Charges


Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg of the UK wants to “…make abusive behaviour by men a criminal offence, even if it does not involve physical violence), according to the Sunday Mirror. He also wants to extend the law to include … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse - General, Abuse - Verbal, Abuse and BDSM | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

BDSM Abuse Survivors’ Network


Are you in an abusive BDSM relationship?  Or think you may be, but aren’t sure?  Had a scene go terribly wrong? Been raped or otherwise injured nonconsensually in a BDSM context? Do you feel alone, as if you are the … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

What You Would Tell “Them” About “Us” – or What BDSM Is vs Abuse


by Rick Umbaugh, reposted with permission: ============================== BDSM is only done between consenting adults. This is what deliniates it from criminal behavior. If there is no consent it is not BDSM. Consent can be withdrawn at any time by either … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Awareness of BDSM Related Abuse Is Growing


Awareness of abuse in the kink community is growing, and I could not be more grateful. Sadly, my friend Mollena Williams, who recently stepped down from her post as International Ms Leather 2010, was raped and only recently spoke up … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, BDSM - General | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Pushing Past Hard Limits


From The Mistress Manual, in a post decrying Mo’s rape: A Dominant pushing past hard limits, ignoring the sub’s refusal, has just crossed over from BDSM into the very different, very ugly world of rape and sexual abuse. … Dom/mes … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse - General, Consent, How to spot an abuser | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Report on RACK Panel


On March 22, SF Citadel hosted a RACK panel of leaders and educators from the BDSM community dedicated to discussing this question, including its relationship to abuse. The evening’s discussion was terrific.  Panelists included Levi (who was previously employed by … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse - General, BDSM - General, Consent | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments