Tag Archives: bottom

What To Do About a Dangerous Top? What If They Are a Community Leader?


Recently I bottomed to a well-known, fairly high-profile member of the Bay Area’s leather community, and I was very upset to find that in real play this person did not live up to the high standards of safety and consensuality … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, Bottoming, How to spot an abuser, red flags | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Being An Asshole, or Topping From the Bottom?


Thank you to Devastating Yet Inconsequential for permission to repost this post.  My comments are below the double line. topping from the bottom Can we please, please retire this concept? Listen, there is such a thing as being an asshole in … Continue reading

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Dealing With Anger While Playing, and By Playing


How do you deal with anger when it comes up in a scene?  Or when wanting to find a way to release it to start with? My friend DaddyDarin weighed in the subject in a thread entitled How to release … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, aftercare, Dominance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On the Use of Labels in the BDSM World


This has become more and more of a pet peeve for me over the past several years. No one fits neatly into any of these little boxes, in my experience. Even those who most seem to always have elements that … Continue reading

Posted in Bottoming, Dominance, masochism, sadism, slavery, Submission | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Can’t Get Rid of It…


Why can’t I get rid of this lust? This need?  This craving? Despite abusive relationships and swearing I’ll never go near D/s or anything like it again on more than one occasion, I am still continually drawn back to… whatever … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, Bottoming, Dominance, masochism, Personal, sadism | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How I Would Explain My Role


First of all, I don’t fit in any neat little boxes. There’s no one word that describes how I identify, what my role is. I generally say “submissive” because that’s probably the closest of the options usually offered, but I … Continue reading

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Alternative Sexual Practices – Kent State article response


first posted 9/17/06 @ 5:34 PM EST; updated 12/17/09 =============================== In response to the 9/14/06 article in the Kent State “Stater Online” entitled “Alternative sexual practices abound among college students“, I would like to offer these remarks. While it is … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse and BDSM, agreements, consensuality, Dominance, masochism, sadism, Submission | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment